I've always considered myself as one of those girls who usually has her emotions in check. I'm much more likely to try and analyze what I'm feeling rationally. I love my life and am used to being happy every day.
Teaching has thrown a wrench into all of that. My daily mood fluctuates hourly. Up and down like a roller coaster. It's a bizarre experience for me. I have my "good" class in the morning, honors just before lunch which can be good or bad depending on how engaged I can get them and then after they've juiced up on sugar, been outside sweating in PE I get my most "challenging" class. The one that makes me at times want to shout in delight, but mostly has me close to pulling my hair out. I've yet to cry in front of them, yet to cry at all honestly, but it's always a test.
I've turned to music for help. Playing their cds, sometimes mine, is such a motivational tool. Which of course I should have suspected.
I'm not posting very much because I'm working all the time. Really, me, strange I know. And I'm back to traveling on weekends, Seattle to see Josue at the beginning of this month, Phoenix last weekend, Healdsburg last night for a Pirate Prom at Roshambo Winery (man, I love their parties. Grrrrrrr!!!) and next weekend down to Orange County to go to Knott's Berry Farm which becomes Knott's Scary Farm for Halloween. I'm going with the boy (yes, there is a boy in my life now and he kicks ass and likes to travel as much as me) and we're taking his 12 year old nephew and staying with his parents. Yes, I'm meeting the family. No, I'm not scared, really excited actually :)
Is this it? Am I actually returning to grown up status with a responsible job that has a fixed schedule and a salary and a stable relationship?
Strange.
1 comment:
As someone who generally doesn't have much distance from how she's feeling, I can relate to the roller coaster effect. I do have quite a few moments and periods of feeling sort of on top of my emotions and the sudden change can be demoralizing. But, in the midst of the tide or out on the shore are both good experiences to have. Music and friends and dancing are good medicine:)
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