Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm never flying with a buddy pass again?
5 H-O-U-R-S, 4 Security Checks, 3 bag openings, 2 trips to the airport and a frustrated Eh-mah-leee (sung)
I tried going home to Atlanta today. Here's what it's like flying out of Sheremeytevo:
Arrive, maybe have to run your bag through an x-ray. Look at the screen. Find what counter to check in at.
Go through the "nothing to declare" channel. Definitely have your bags x-rayed. All of them, even your purse.
Then have your passport looked at. Answer the questions "who packed your bag? where? when?"
Then have someone open all your bags and look through them.
Then, and only then, do you stand in line to actually get your boarding pass. Or in my case, stand-by ticket. Then passport control... more waiting.
After passport control, wait in line to go through security - shoes off, coat off, stand in a human x-ray with your arms in the air. Not kidding.
Finally get into the area full of duty free shops and people smoking. Again, not kidding.
Go to the bathroom where the water in all the toilets is 5 day old pee yellow. Nope, still not kidding.
Get to the gate to be patted down, then have your carry-on bags looked through. Finally sit and wait to board. And wait, and wait. "We're fixing the a/c on the plane. We'll begin boarding in another 20 minutes." 20 minutes later. "We're still waiting for clearance. We'll board in 20 mintes." 20 minutes later. "The flight plan has changed and we need more fuel. We estimate boarding in 20 minutes."
However, I'd been told I was getting on the plane, so I didn't care. I sat and knit... and knit.
Finally, on the plane, business class. I've checked in my coat, ordered the sole for dinner. Wait, why is the gate attendant on the plane? Why is he telling people to get off? Why is he coming towards me?
Dammit! The plane is too heavy... TOO HEAVY! And removing the 7 buddy pass fliers will make it light enough to fly apparently.
So, now I'm home again. I'll head out with Natasha on Tuesday. In the meantime, I have more time to knit. And go to business lunch. Maybe I'll get to see Za German one more time.
But truth be told, I wish I were still on that plane.