Friday, July 2

Ups and Downs

Hm, haven't posted since my pack out day... which is now over 2 weeks ago. I've been everywhere emotionally and haven't known how and what to write here.

I'm still not sure that I could put it all down. I'm really going to miss my students - I would have loved to have continued teaching my grade 10 students as they head into the IB (feel free to send me questions!). I'm going to miss seeing Bree as often as I did. I almost cried saying good-bye to my vegetable lady - she was the first Russian (outside of Bree's boy) who was truly friendly and patient with me and continued to be for 3 years. But in the end, I only cried on the last day of school for teachers.

I spent one more week in Moscow to test out this relationship that had just started. However, even in the few weeks that it lasted had so much more drama than any relationship I'd ever had. I should have known that was a bad sign. I should have trusted my instincts. But I'm a gambler when it comes to love. I'm willing to accept that it will appear when I least expect it and to take a risk to see how the cards fall.

But this, the day that I felt like I was suddenly in a Jerry Springer episode, I should have stopped seeing him then. I know my students think I watch too much How I Met Your Mother, but Ted was right in saying that nothing good happens after 2 a.m. Or if you go to bed super early like I do, after midnight. And too often in the end did I allow myself to see him and make decisions after midnight. So much energy spent there that could have been spent enjoying Moscow. Not that I wasn't enjoying my time, but was the emotional stress worth it? Well, at this moment, I'm thinking not really. And I'm ready to let go of that - easier said than done, but hopefully writing it out will help.

I'm back in Atlanta; I've been here a week. And I've met two new babies. Here I am with my best friend's girl:
Me and Baby Z

My sister had a pool party for her birthday (hence the suit) and here I am with Beth and her son.
Beth, Caleb and me

I've eaten tacos and bbq. I've made summer pasta salads and a fresh tomato sauce. I've had a minor surgery and was told by the doctor and nurse that I'm the calmest patient they've ever had. Post op, I showed them my tattoo and it all became clear to them that I have a high pain tolerance.

I'll be in Atlanta another week, then off to Maine, Boston, back to Atlanta, Austin, back to Atlanta, then Asheville and then back to Atlanta to fly to Amsterdam. I'm also taking 2 online courses. In so many ways, it appears that I am mildly insane.

1 comment:

bostezo said...

We're leaving for the East Coast tomorrow and will be there until Thursday. I can't believe we're missing each other again.

See you in Amsterdam or somewhere else next year, two years should be our limit without hanging out ;-)